You Don't Look Jewish
TLV - NYC. A quick trip
A note to my readers. Sorry for the long break between posts. It’s not been an easy time to experience and read all the news that’s fit to print, let alone live it in real-time.
It was 6:20AM on June 4th. I’m at JFK airport, fresh off an ELAL flight from Israel, waiting for a friend who for some reason wanted to actually pick me up. So nice, right? (Other than my sister-in-law, nobody has picked me up in years, which is fine. Why shlep, or worse, give up your parking spot?)
“Are you Jewish?”
I look up from my phone, and see a young black guy, wearing a bright yellow vest for directing traffic in the passenger pickup zone.
I think to myself, what is this about? I reflect on my pre-travel nervousness - how would I navigate questions about Israel, about Iran, about the West Bank, about Gaza - and concerns about leaving Ira and the family at home.
“Why do you ask?” I ask him mildly.
“You don’t look Jewish,” he says. (I laugh to myself.)
He comes over to me, and taking out his phone, adds, “You know, I have family members who look like me, and are Jewish.”
“I also have friends who look like you, who are Jewish.” I respond.
Warming up to the conversation, he explains that he knew that a plane had come in from Israel.
“Because they looked more Jewish because of how they were dressed?” I asked. (A passel of modestly dressed girls were on the plane, coming home from their gap year at seminary in Israel. That’s in addition to the usual groupings of more religiously dressed men and women traveling as well. And me, in my short sleeved tee-shirt and jeans.)
He scrolls through his photos and shows me, Mrs. Silverstein, his HS principal. “She’s Jewish, you know.” I asked if he liked her and are they still in touch. Yes, he said, with a smile. (Btw, Mrs. Silverstein didn’t look like a religious ElAL traveller.)
I tell him that I do look Jewish, at least by NY standards, but that in Israel where I live, Jews are from different countries, like Iraq, Iran, and Ethiopia - they are not white. He nods. (I’m not sure he understands all of it but he’s listening carefully.) We talk a bit about understanding and appreciating our differences.
Returning to his job, he wishes me a “blessed life.” I’m like a life! Wow. Even a day sounds good to me, but I smile as he walks away, wondering if he’s learned something new about the people whom he sees every day, coming and going through this busy, international airport.
In truth, this special moment of connection stayed with me during my week-long, run through NYC, with a short side-trip to Philly. A week that included a 12-hour fracas with Iran - seriously - which I found out about while riding the LIRR from a lovely Long Island Shabbat with the family.
I was in a good mood. I’d been to the beach area of my youth, Point Lookout, and even gone for a swim in the cold water of the Atlantic Ocean in June when I saw a home front command notice pop up on my phone. Everything was cancelled for Monday. My stomach dropped to my knees. History repeating itself, seriously. Only last June I got stuck in Rome on my way home from the US when the 12-day war with Iran happened. Thankfully, this was a 12-hour event, and by Monday morning NY time, it was all over.
Talk about whiplash yet again. My life these last 2.5 years, and I’m not complaining, just noting. Like I said to everyone I saw, “We’re all fine in spite of all of it.”
With Shutaf friends in NY and Philadelphia, we discussed endlessly what was next with Israel, the US, and Iran, and whose to blame for all that’s gone wrong? (The blame game is always so fascinating to me but that’s a topic for another day.) Even if the person analyzing wasn’t a Trump fan, they generally blamed Bibi, saying he’d talked Trump into war.
Really, I’d ask, pointing out that while he might have made the case for Iran2, remember when Trump pulled Bibi back last June (the planes were in the air for a final bombing run in response to a devastating hit in Southern Israel)? (And again, more than once in the past month, calling Bibi a *X%$ idiot!) I’m so glad I get to know exactly what nastiness passes between these two world leaders. Trump is clearly making a game plan for the future of the region as he sees it, without truly paying attention to all that’s at stake at this point, from Hormuz to enriched Uranium, ballistic missiles, the Gulf countries who are cutting their own deals, and none of that includes Israel’s interests or Bibi’s longterm fears vis a vis Iran and its proxies all around us. Sigh. (Btw, Gaza? Nobody seems to care about Gazans anymore, not in Israel either, where we’re still stuck there, and they sure don’t seem to care about the Iranians.)
Heck, Israel doesn’t even know what’s in the MOU that Iran supposedly signed (maybe they didn’t) and it includes Lebanon. What’s that even mean, this as Hezbollah continues to hit the North, devastated from 2.5 years of rocket fire. Before, Northern residents just felt screwed by the Israeli government who promised support let alone the redevelopment needed so that people will return. Now, they feel sold out by both Bibi and by Trump’s interests in the region and at the gas pumps given the upcoming midterm elections, all of which have nothing to do with them. With us. Sigh again.
Bottom line, will this help Israelis on election day? I worry that Bibi’s longtime Likud party base will see Trump as the bad guy, and pity “poor Bibeleh.”
The war having ended - 12 hours later - I tried to enjoy my last few days of big city living, including many subway rides, hot and humid temperatures and even a rain shower or two, always delightful after years of experiencing no rain for so many months in Israel. Oh, and many cups of coffee, hot and iced.
I shared what’s up at Shutaf Inclusion Programs. Our 20th summer (!) will host 100 campers, ages 6-21 for 3 wonderful weeks in August. I reminded people that in a world sliced and divided up by what seems right and what isn’t that we exist to serve kids and their needs, not their politics, not their cultural or religious backgrounds. In Jerusalem.
That Shutaf, this as we enter our 20th year of serving kids, teens and young adults with diverse needs and disabilities in Jerusalem, is the Israel that they can get behind, one that believes in bringing people together, war or no war, with government support or without. And you’re invited to our summer fundraiser, to help ensure every kid who needs scholarship can attend, and to help cover essential stuff at camp, including busing and 2 healthy meals a day. It’s the stuff kids (and working families) need during the long, hot, and often lonely summer vacation.
Back to my airport conversation for a second, as I wind this up. His innocent conversation starter, said in the friendliest of ways, even though I initially felt suspicious, helped me consider even more deeply how much we presume about each other, without really knowing much about each other, or each other’s stories. Without taking the time to learn, to understand and to care, and not just to shout slogans someone taught you. We’ve got to try, or will just sink further into the morass that surrounds us.
I’m ready. How about you?