Preparing for Pesach this year brings me back to that COVID holiday year of 2020. I recall doing an online grocery order at Shufersal, something we don’t do ordinarily as Ira and I prefer to do our shopping, especially for the holiday, in person. I know, it sounds old fashioned, but I love looking at what’s new on the shelf this year, marveling at the newfangled products. We order plenty year-round, just for Passover, it’s different, just like the holiday.
We like to go the Machane Yehuda Market in Jerusalem, and buy our nuts and spices (freshly ground at our favorite spice guy), as well as indulge in low brow but delicious chocolate-dipped coconut macaroons, and other by-the-kilo Passover cookies - all nut or coconut based, some with jammy fillings and some with chocolate. Usually we buy more than we need, of course, and their over-the-top sweetness is just perfect when washed down with everyone’s favorite Passover rotgut, Slivovitz, or plum brandy.
This morning, after the night of a thousand stars, or a mix of 300+ drones and missiles lighting up the skies, a gift from our good friends in Iran, I thought to myself, what else do I have to buy for the holiday, and do I even care anymore?
It’s hard to think about haroset - we make 2 varieties of course, the traditional apple, walnut, cinnamon and sweet wine version (with lots and lots of cinnamon), and a date version that’s really become my favorite, spiced with cardamom (and lots more) with toasted nuts for crunch and some lemon zest to lighten it all up - and maror, the bitter herbs, let alone the cooking and baking I have to do for the holiday.
Strangely enough, while I don’t feel invincible this morning, I don’t feel like Armageddon is still to come. Am I foolish? Perhaps. Or maybe I’ve just drunk the Israeli Kool-aid, that mix of hubris and laissez-faire, that comes with living here all these years.
I’ll admit it was hard to get to bed last night. We organized the safe room - our eldest arrived with his partner - and we made sure we had what we needed for more than 10 minutes inside. Ira, who’s rehabbing a torn Achilles tendon, decided to lay on the sofa downstairs - a shorter and safer trip for him. I laid in bed, alternating between watching the news, playing Words with Friends, YouTube surfing, and frequent bathroom trips. When I heard the first boom at 1:45am, I jumped out of bed, meeting up with everyone in the hallway, but unsure of what to do, “where was the bloody siren?,” this, as 2 other booms were heard. We slowly worked Akiva down the stairs as the siren finally pealed outside - I have bad dreams of him fainting, half asleep, in the safe room in 2014 - getting inside and locking the door just in time for more booms.
Afterwards? We didn’t know what to do. More was anticipated, and the discussions of cruise and ballistic missiles was enough to make me nauseous. We camped out in the living room for a while, eventually realizing that we had to go back to bed, “needing to be horizontal,” as my sister Sarah would have described. Around 4am, the Homefront Command told us we could go back to sleep, that we didn’t need to be near our safe rooms, Ira and Akiva came upstairs, and slowly, the house quieted.
Today? I just feel hungover. I drove people around in the morning hours - Ira to physical therapy and Akiva to his day program - coming home and needing breakfast, and more coffee. I was tired and strung out but encouraged by the sunny skies and warm temperatures. It is April after all - spring has sprung and we’re all working hard to anticipate Pesach amidst the pain of the past 6 months. Sitting at our Seder tables with hostages in Gaza feels impossible, and yet, the holiday beckons.
As I drove Akiva to his program - his much anticipated Netanya vacation with Yachad for adults with disabilities, was cancelled. He’d tried so hard to be patient all through Shabbat - he was so excited and just wanted to pack his suitcase and perseverate about all that he was exited about, the hotel (!), the elevator (!), and the big bus to the hotel were highlights. He was stunned and silent when we told him that it was cancelled, connecting the dots in his own way, when the siren sounded in the middle of the night. This morning, he hopped into the car - I think he was relieved to get out of the house and go…anywhere.
Finding out that the world was cancelled, at least for 48 hours, happened quickly via the news and local whatsapp groups as soon as Shabbat ended. We tuned into the news after Shabbat, just to check on what was up vis-a-vis Iran, never anticipating what the Iranians had planned for our motzash (post-Shabbat).
Shutaf had a 2-day Mini-Camp for Teens planned. We still haven’t been able to bring back our larger Pre-Passover day camp for kids and teens since COVID but at least had managed to pull together enough staff to have a little fun together for 2-days, or so we thought. I called Marci, Shutaf’s longtime Director of Programs, as she got on the phone with our staff in order to inform parents and participants. We commiserated even as we all wondered what was going on - the announcement of Iran sending drones and more hadn’t yet hit the news but we all know something big was up.
Joshua Hoffman’s
article sums up much of what I’m reading and hearing with regard to last night’s activities from Iran.“Iran’s response took two weeks, which tells us that it was not a knee-jerk reaction, but a calculated, forecasted, and strategic series of decisions. The Iranians knew that the combination of drones, missiles, and cruise missiles would at best cause the most minor of damage to Israeli targets.”
Hoffman writes, “The Iranian attack was also a test, according to author Israel Bitton, who added that Iran wanted to learn a few lessons, including that:
Iran can, without any immediate consequence, shut down the airspace of nearly the entire Middle East.
Iran can paralyze Israel as the entire country is forced to wait in/near shelters and brace themselves for an unknown onslaught.
With Israel on high alert, and the attack telegraphed to the world days in advance, Iran managed to do the above but not really penetrate Israel’s defensive umbrella.”
This part struck home, “What this means is that those folks like U.S. President Joe Biden parading the idea that Israel ought to ‘pocket the win’ for having successfully defended itself against a major (but relatively minor) onslaught are simply telling Israel to set the stage for the next round which will be inevitably worse and exact a significant human toll.” (I kept thinking of the US’s unwillingness, when Obama was president, to truly consider Iran as a threat, let alone her proxies.)
“Because if Iran was brazen enough to attack Israel with pathetic slow-flying drones waiting to be shot out of the sky although they possess a massive arsenal of far more sophisticated missiles,” added Bitton, “why the hell would anyone assume, let alone promote, the notion that this is as far as Iran will go and therefore Iran should be let off the hook with no consequence? Israel knows this. America does too.”
So does Hamas, who turned down the recent hostage deal. In the words of
in her substack today, “Hamas believes they have won, as they have no need to sacrifice anything or agree to any deal, as long as they hold onto the hostages, as Israel has retracted the majority of its troops from Aza, and as Israel keeps sending in supplies to keep Biden happy. This attack in the early morning in Israel is PR coup for Iran and Hamas, a military and a religious victory.”Now? I’m going to organize and clean the pantry and then do some yoga, and hope for whatever can be hoped for, right now.